to be the best day of my life.' It was that simple.
Whether I believed it or not, I said it. And if
that day didn't turn out quite so well, I
would move into tomorrow with the same
confession."
John also did something else.
He chose to stare reality square in the face.
"One day, I pulled a chair up in front of the
mirror and sat down. With a notepad in my
hand, I looked at myself in the mirror and
said, 'If I were going to be honest, what are
the things I'm doing that I shouldn't be doing,
and what are the things I'm not doing that I
should be doing?' Then, looking myself in the
eyes, I began speaking those things out loud
and writing them down.
"It was kind of brutal for me," John
remembers. "How often are we truly honest
with ourselves like that?"
Rediscovering Purpose
As he began rebuilding his life and his faith,
John also began seeking God to rediscover his
purpose.
"I had to go into the wilderness for a while,"
he says, referring to the move to Florida.
"You've got to come to this place where you
realize, 'I cannot and will not do this without
Him.' God made us to have purpose, but there
are a lot of people out there who either feel
like they don't have a purpose or they aren't
even trying to „ nd it. I was in that place for a
while. But God never gave up on me."
Through that season, John found freedom
in simplicity and honesty—choosing peace
over money, authenticity over appearances,
he says. One of the lessons that struck him
most deeply was the importance of empathy.
"The church sometimes has a hard time
being real with people," John says. "A lot of
Christians have never faced addictions or
failures, so they don't have empathy. They
think being good all your life makes you better
than others, but that kind of thinking can
keep you from understanding people's pain.
Jesus didn't hang out with perfect people. He
was with the broken, the outcasts.
"That's why I want to be transparent with
people—about everything I do. My experience
at rock bottom has helped my ability to
empathize with people and meet them where
they are.
"If you've never lived at the bottom, you
can't really help people who are there. People
don't need your theology—they need your
honesty. My compassion for people is so
much greater now. I just want to pull people
out of the gutter, to tell them God hasn't
forgotten them.
"I've never felt called to preach," John
admits. "But I told God, 'I'll do whatever You
ask me to do—just please give me the grace
and the desire to do it.' But I've always known
B V O V
:
1 3
I looked at myself in
the mirror and said,
'If I were going to be
honest, what are the
things I'm doing that
I shouldn't be doing...."
"
