R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
by Christi Le Fevre
The very idea made me furious. Never mind the fact that it came from a male member of my own family. How dare he suggest that if I want to be married I should learn how to cook? If he thought that, as a woman, I was born to work in the kitchen, do laundry and clean house, he’d better think again.
Fuming, I made my feelings clear. “If a man only wants me because I can cook for him,” I declared defiantly, “I don’t want that man!”
It was one of the most heated arguments I’ve ever had—and for good reason. I’d worked tirelessly from a young age to excel in life. I never wanted to be favored because of my femininity or because others might have thought I was attractive. I deeply desired to be known and respected for my intelligence.
In college, I studied long hours to be accepted into several honor societies. I graduated summa cum laude and was voted by department professors as the top graduate out of thousands of students in my department. After graduation, when I got my first job, I became one of my company’s top performers while I was still in my early 20s. Those accolades, however, hadn’t given me the confidence I thought they would. I still believed I had to fight to earn respect.
What caused me to remain so defensive? Why was I always ready in a moment to contend, especially with men in authority? I lacked this key revelation: “A gracious woman gains respect” Proverbs 11:16, ("New Living Translation").
During the tumultuous journey of the past 20 years, the Lord has patiently taught me this truth. He’s shown me, after many unhappy years of being angry and frustrated, that there’s no need for me to obsess over and fight for the respect I desire. When I choose to surrender my will and be the gracious woman He has called me to be, respect is guaranteed.
This is totally contrary to the world’s way of thinking. The secular culture of today teaches people to demand respect merely on the basis of their external traits. “I demand respect because I’m a woman,” one person says. “I demand respect because of my ancestry or ethnicity,” says another. God says, however, we are only to give “respect to whom respect is due, and honor to whom honor is due” (Romans 13:7, "Amplified Bible, Classic Edition").
BVOV : 21
