BVOV Magazine 2013 - present

“There’s a place Todd can go,” he explained. “They’ll take care of him.” Todd was sent to live in a Masonic home for orphans. His mother said he could come home at the end of summer, but later she changed her mind. By the time he was 12, Todd was a full-blown drug addict. He lived in the orphanage until he was 16½, when he was finally kicked out. He returned home only to find that his mother had remarried. That didn’t go well. “You could never be a Marine,” Todd’s stepfather taunted. “Marines are real men. You’ll never be a real man.” On a dare, Todd joined the Marines and went through boot camp. It looked like everything had changed, but it hadn’t. He was still an addict. Todd began a cycle of going AWOL, running to hide from the military police, being arrested and sent back. In time, he was given a bad conduct discharge. That’s when he met Jackie, and Destiny was later born. Jackie was never going to be the little woman who went to sleep hoping he would come home from his latest binge. No matter what time he dragged himself home, Jackie and Destiny were there, waiting on the sofa. Jackie would scream at him. Destiny would sob, “Daddy, you promised!” Now they were gone. All he’d ever done was hurt and disappoint them. Enough was enough. Todd went to get a gun. He would put a bullet in his mouth and end everyone’s suffering. First, he would write a letter telling them goodbye. On the way to the gun cabinet, Todd saw a phone book. When he picked it up, it fell open to reveal a number of churches. Todd hated Christians—thought they were hypocrites. Yet, for some reason, he ended up driving to one of the churches he saw listed in the phone book. It was a Word of Faith church, whatever that meant. A pastor named Dan met him at the door. Todd exploded, telling him what he had planned to do. “Well, can I tell you about Jesus?” “I didn’t come here to hear about Jesus!” Todd said. “He isn’t real! Jesus died!” “That’s what I wanted to tell you. He’s alive.” Todd paused. He believed in ghosts. He believed in UFOs. He believed in Dracula and haunted houses. Maybe Jesus was alive. “Listen, since you don’t want your life, why don’t you give it to Someone who does?” “Who would want what I have?” A Small Seed “I figured if Jesus wanted my life, He could have it,” Todd recalls. “Later, I talked Jackie and Destiny into coming home. When I put Destiny to bed, I told her Jesus was in my life and that things had changed—that I would be there for her. A couple hours later, my body screamed for cocaine. I stole Jackie’s debit card and went on a binge. When I got home, Jackie and Destiny were waiting up. Jackie screamed that she hated me. Destiny sobbed. “I called Pastor Dan and told him that Jesus didn’t work! He told me that there was a seed growing inside me. I exploded, telling him it needed to grow faster!” Shots in the Dark Along the way, Todd had connected with some people and began singing with a band. “We played in clubs and had a good following,” Todd recalls. “I wrote our music and we were pretty good. During our band practice, I kept talking about Jesus. Three of the guys told me that if I mentioned that Name again, they would leave and never play with me again. I had the mic and taunted them, and they walked out. Bobby, our guitarist, stayed because I was his best friend. I got high with him, partied with him, did “coke” with him, and talked about Jesus to him. He didn’t believe in Jesus.” Late one night, Todd was standing at a pay phone trying to call his dealer when he turned and saw Jackie and Destiny. They were wearing pajamas. It was 1:30 in the morning, and they had followed him when he left the house. Todd jumped into his black Jeep Wrangler and sped away. Shortly after, he picked up a kid who was dealing drugs. 14 : BVOV

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